Sad beginnings.

I was going to publish the following four lines on Facebook, a cryptic mumbling that would look clever to me, and thoroughly bloody annoying to my friends, who have spent nearly nine months keeping an eye on me since my mum died. They've seen me go through that, travel a couple of thousand miles to see family in Europe and attend a second funeral, come home, have my home taken away from me for the most mundane reasons, seen me move to Manchester, and for those who've known me a long time, seen me sit and suffer while I bugger up one potential relationship after another! I'm pretty well known for being a big sucker for romance and falling in love and whatnot, so it will come as no surprise to them to see this; at least with the launch of a new blog, something I've been thinking about doing since I moved to the city in late April, they can have the 'benefit' of some liner notes to these few words:

"I've chased for so long and yesterday, I finally recognised with some help, that the chase is over, for what I am pursuing is beyond me. Such recognition comes with a great deal of sadness, and a reluctance to accept the truth. But now, I am faced with only one choice - to move forward and embrace whatever is to come. Thank goodness I was persuaded to stop before I did further harm."

You see, as usual, I'd risked really hurting someone with loving them too much for them to be able to tolerate. At least this love of my life had the kindness to say something along the lines of 'stop, for your sake and mine. Feel what you feel, but don't talk about it anymore, because you're breaking your own heart and hurting me because I don't like seeing you suffer.' I don't fall for the dim ones you see! A beautiful woman is only beautiful in my mind if she's intelligent. That's where true beauty lies. And this lady's intelligent and kind enough to know that her not feeling the same way about me as I feel about her is slowly killing me. Bless, I guess.

So here I am, July 2010, 30 years old, living in Manchester, having lost everything along the way. And here it is, the future to come (of course!), and all the world's a stage. Well, Manchester is, at least.